Guiding My Cousin Through AnimeLand
by Yami no Miko
Summary: This is basically a parody of The Wizard of Oz. Also a very much self-insertion. Please read, I guarantee that at least the disclaimer's funny.
1. The... um... Disclaimer

::We see a dimly lit room with our *cough* beloved author sitting on a couch::  
  
Yami-chan: Hello, and welcome to the disclaimer. As you all know, I'm a.... humble person.  
  
Pepper: Translation; poor.  
  
Yami-chan: ::clears throat:: Um, thanks Peppy. So, as you should know, I don't own that much.  
  
Pepper: Translation; I lives in a shack.  
  
Yami-chan: ::rolls eyes:: Whatever. Anyway, I own myself and Pepper. My brother, Kakashi, owns... well, himself. I think he also owns Gobu, even if I did the freakin' story on him.  
  
Pepper: Translation; There are bitter feelings towards my brother.  
  
Yami-chan: Will you shut up!!?? Anyway, my cousin, Q.T., owns himself, too.  
  
Pepper: Translation; I don't know why the hell I put him in this story.  
  
Yami-chan: ::sighs:: And the rest of the anime characters belong to their respective owners.  
  
Pepper: Translation; I want Xellos so much it hurts.  
  
Yami-chan: Anyway, on with the story.  
  
Pepper: Translation; please review, I have no life.  
  
Yami-chan: ::sighs:: Please just leave me alone, Pepper.  



	2. Arriving in ChibiVille

Guiding My Cousin Through AnimeLand  
by Yami-chan (who else would write something like this?)  
  
Archive Rights: I'll hold my breath and wait for you to ask. You ask, you'll most likely get.  
  
______________________________________________________________________________  
  
::We see that our *cough* beloved author Yami-chan is sitting at her computer typing away like a diligent little chipmunk... er, author::  
  
Yami-chan: I... need... sleep! ::passes out::  
  
Wayne and Garth: ::break into her house:: Doodily-doo! Doodily-doo!  
  
::That little wavy thing that means a dream sequence happens and we enter Yami-chan's head::  
  
Amelia: Scary!  
  
Yami-chan: It's not that bad!  
  
Zelgadis: What's that black stuff in the corner?  
  
Yami-chan: What, that? ::points to sticky black stuff:: Nothing.   
  
Zelgadis: (shocked) Is that bong residue?!  
  
Yami-chan: No! ::smacks Zelgadis with her slipper::  
  
::Suddenly a boy a little bit younger than Yami-chan (let's just call her Y.C.) shows up.::  
  
Q.T.: Um, where the hell am I?  
  
Y.C.: Q.T.-chan?  
  
Q.T.: Yami? Oh shit. ::looks at the person writing this:: Why do you torment me so?  
  
Big Writing Hand: I don't, really.  
  
Q.T.: Then why do you stick me in these scary fics?  
  
B.W.H.: Because it's amusing.  
  
Q.T.: I hate my life.  
  
Y.C.: I thought I was the center of this story.  
  
Q.T.: Wait, let's look to see who's the center. ::scrolls up to the title:: I think we both are. 'Guiding My Cousin Through AnimeLand' generally implies that both of us are starring.  
  
Pepper: Would you just fucking get on with the story?!  
  
Y.C.: (addressing B.W.H.) Why is she in my dream?  
  
B.W.H.: I... don't... know. ::runs away quickly::  
  
Pepper: Back to the matter at hand. Yami, you-  
  
::Suddenly a large group of midgets break in on the scene, which we see is a miniature town::  
  
Y.C.: Oh shite. I've seen this before.  
  
Lots Of Midgets: Follow the Badly Drawn Road! Follow the Badly Drawn-  
  
Y.C.: Hey! You're not really midgets! ::pulls mask off a midget:: Shite! It's... it's... it's a chibi! ::runs screaming::  
  
First Chibi: Poo-doo.  
  
Q.T.: You DO realize that my cousin is scared as all hell of Chibi's, right?  
  
Second Chibi: Yes.  
  
Y.C.: ::runs back, still screaming.:: AAAAH!! THEY'RE CHIBI'S!!!  
  
Q.T.: ::grabs Yami and covers her mouth:: Yami, it's okay. They're nice chibi's. ::looks at First Chibi:: Right?  
  
F.C.: Right.  
  
Y.C.: Oh. Okay. How did we get here?  
  
::Everyone stops and looks around while the 'Jeopardy' music plays::  
  
F.C.: Hell if I know.   
  
Q.T.: Hey, aren't we supposed to have an annoying little dog following us?  
  
Y.C.: Good question. Oh! I have the answer!  
  
::we hear the 'Gobu the land shark' theme come on and Gobu pops up into the Chibi Village, swallowing a couple as he goes along::  
  
Q.T.: That's our substitute for Toto?  
  
Gobu: Do you WANT to be eaten?  
  
Q.T.: ::sweatdrops:: This is going nowhere.  
  
Y.C.: Hey, what about the wit-  
  
::An evil dude flies down from the sky::  
  
Evil Dude: You killed my little brother!  
  
Everyone but Q.T.: AAAHHH!!!! SABAN!!!!!  
  
A/N: I'm sorry, but Saban's killed all the anime's he's ever touched!  
  
Q.T.: Who's Saban?  
  
Y.C.: He's the epitome of evil. Let's get out of here.  
  
::They Leave the Chibi Village::  
  
Chibi's: Follow the Badly Drawn road, Follow the Badly Drawn road...  
  
Yami: That was really fuckin' creepy.  
  
QT: I know. ::shudders::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Alright, that's technically the first installment. r/r if you want more, baby!  



	3. The Badly Drawn Road and A Dimwit Named ...

  
  
YC: You know, this road really IS badly drawn.  
  
QT: I know what you mean. ::looks at the road::  
  
:: We see that the road is one fo those types the Coyote would make to fool the roadrunner::  
  
YC: I keep expecting to run into the- oof! ::runs into the backdrop::  
  
QT: ::trying to hold in laughter::  
  
YC: ::pushes over backdrop:: Frockin' bloody-  
  
::They keep walking and end up next to a cornfield. Yami looks at the scarecrow in the field nervously::  
  
QT: You know, that scarecrow looks kind of familiar.  
  
YC: Hey, you're right.  
  
Kakashi: Could you please get me down?  
  
YC & QT: AAAAAH!!!! ::run off::  
  
Kakashi: Dammit. That's the third group.  
  
::Gobu goes up to Kakashi and gets him down::  
  
Kakashi: Thanks. Are those your... um... people you like?  
  
Gobu: You mean friends?  
  
Kakashi: Yeah, that's it!  
  
Gobu: Hell no! You think I WANT to be a replacement for a dog named after a crappy band?  
  
Kakashi: Hey, you can talk!  
  
Gobu: ::sweatdrop::  
  
YC: ::suddenly pops up:: I thought the band came after the dog was long dead.  
  
Gobu: How the hell'd you do that?  
  
YC: What? Pop up? I'm an author. I have certain powers to my advantage.  
  
Gobu & Kakashi: ::sweatdrop::  
  
QT: ::walks up out of breath:: How'd ::gasp:: you ::pant:: do ::wheeze:: that ::gasp::?  
  
YC: You'll learn to do the popping up thingy in due time, Q-chan.  
  
QT: Riiiiiiiight.  
  
Kakashi: Hi! I'm Kakashi!  
  
YC: ::circling him:: Hey bro! I knew that name had to mean something insulting!  
  
QT: Aren't you supposed to do a stupid song and dance routine?  
  
Kakashi: Oh! Yeah! ::music starts playing::  
  
I could... something la da da da  
And something something something  
And have... uh, stuff to do  
  
YC: I see your problem!  
  
Kakashi: You do?  
  
YC: Yeah! You're tone-deaf!  
  
Kakashi: That's not it! I don't have a... thinking... thingy.  
  
QT: Brain?  
  
Kakashi: Yes! A brain!  
  
YC: Well that was pretty obvious, too.  
  
Gobu & QT: ::sweatdrop::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That was chapter 2 ya vultures! Read and enjoy. Then review, so I can enjoy! 


	4. Lina the Good Witch and A Bunny Suit for...

  
YC: Can we move on?  
  
BWH: Be my guest.  
  
::Suddenly a big shiny bubble thingy lands next to the group::  
  
YC: ::pops it::  
  
Lina, a.k.a. the Good Witch: Air! ::gasps::  
  
::she gradually calms down::  
  
QT: Can we help you?  
  
Lina: (in crappy high, wavering voice) I am Lina, the Witch of- (back in normal voice) aw, screw it. I'm Lina and I'd like to thank you for getting rid of the Wicked Witch of the East.  
  
YC: When did this happen?  
  
Gobu: That Saban dude's brother?  
  
Lina: Yeah.  
  
YC: Wait wait wait. When did we kill of the Witch, and why does Gobu know who it is?  
  
Gobu: ::blushes:: Well, actually...  
  
Everyone: NOOOOO!!!!! FLASHBACK!!!!!  
  
Wayne & Garth: ::walk up:: Doodily doo! Doodily doo!  
  
::we go through the wavy flashback thing to see Gobu's fin going through the woods.::  
  
::cut to see a guy sitting on a toilet and reading a newspaper::  
  
::Suddenly, Gobu's fin appears in the restroom as the guy is getting up and... well, you know the details::  
  
::back to current scene::  
  
Gobu: What?  
  
Everyone: ::stares at Gobu in disbelief and not a little disgust::  
  
QT: You ate a guy as he was getting off the crapper?  
  
YC: Not only is that un-hygienic, that's just disturbing. First off, how did you get into his house?  
  
Lina: Yeah, that IS weird.  
  
Gobu: Shut up. Just. Shut. Up.  
  
Kakashi: What were we talking about? ::scratches head Gourry-esque::  
  
Lina: Anyway, we thank you in my realm. That guy had been terrorizing Chibi's for a while now.  
  
YC: (darkly) Good. Bwahahaha!  
  
Everyone: ::stares at her and sweatdrops, then backs away::  
  
YC: ::twitches:: What?  
  
Lina: You're a bloomin' freak. Anyway, the Witch of the East was using this magic bunny suit to rule is part of Oz... er, AnimeLand.  
  
YC: Magic... bunny suit?  
  
Lina: You're dreaming this. Don't look at me.  
  
YC: Um...yeah.   
  
Lina: Anyway, you have to wear it all the time to prevent-  
  
YC: No! There is no way I'm going to wear that for all the time I'm stuck here!  
  
::cut to a bit later::  
  
YC: (wearing bunny suit) I can't believe I'm going to be wearing this for all the time I'm stuck here. ::twitches:: I hate my life.  
  
Lina: You know, you remind me of someone I know.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I'm under an extreme amount of pressure here, so this is what my fuzzy mind came up with. Have fun and please, for the love of L-sama, r/r! 


	5. On The Road to Jaded City... I'm Scared

  
YC: I can't believe I'm being forced to wear a bunny suit.  
  
QT: Would you please stop bitching?  
  
YC: ::sticks out tongue at QT::  
  
QT: I'm hurt.  
  
Lina: Why am I still here?  
  
Kakashi: Hell if I know.  
  
Everyone: ::stares at him with amazement::  
  
Kakashi: What? I can have... not... dumb-ish... moments.  
  
Everyone: :: sweatdrop::  
  
Gobu: So, where are we headed?  
  
Lina: Good question.  
  
YC: Wait, you mean you don't know?!  
  
Lina: Well, if you want to get out of this dream and back to the Jackie Chan ones, you should probably head to the Jaded City.  
  
YC: Jaded... city?  
  
QT: I thought it was the Emerald City.  
  
Lina: This is Yami's head, remember? This dream just happened to bring in the little Jaded story.  
  
Everyone: Oh shit.  
  
YC: Which means that as soon as we get there....  
  
Lina: Yup. Xellos will be hitting on you.  
  
YC: Oh shi- oh wait, no, that's a good thing.  
  
Everyone: ::sweatdrop::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hooray for me! I finally got a plot!! R/R to congratulate me! ::checks to see if it worked:: C'mon! 


	6. A Chimera On Fire

  
YC: And once we get to Jaded City, how am I going to get back to my Jackie Chan dreams?  
  
Everyone: ::stares at her::  
  
YC: This is my head, so I might as well be honest, right?  
  
Lina: Um.... okay. Anyway, once we get there, we have to talk to the Wizard-  
  
QT: So there's at least one thing that doesn't differ from the movie!  
  
Lina: Um.. yeah. Sure.  
  
Kakashi: Then let's... um... do the thing where we're not staying!  
  
Gobu: Go?  
  
Kakashi: Yeah!  
  
Lina: You know, you remind me of someone I know...  
  
Kakashi: I do?  
  
Lina: Yes, you do. ::smacks him upside the head:: Jellyfish brains!  
  
Kakashi: Owies.  
  
YC: Let's go!  
  
Everyone: Yeah!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
10 minutes later....  
  
YC: Hey, where are we?   
  
QT: It looks like a forest.  
  
Lina: Yeah, this is the Enchanted Forest.  
  
QT: Enchanted? This won't end well.  
  
Gobu: Hey! What's that?  
  
::they walk up to see a guy just standing with a sword in his hands::  
  
YC: Hey, Zelgadis!  
  
Zelgadis: Hi. ::just stands still::  
  
Lina: Um, why are you just standing there?  
  
Zelgadis: Grown... over... with... barnacles.  
  
QT: Y'know, he's right.   
  
Zelgadis: Duh.  
  
Lina: Fireball!!!  
  
Zelgadis: (still smoking slightly) Thank ::cough:: you ::cough::  
  
YC: Zelgadis, my name is Yami-chan and I'd like to say that-  
  
Zelgadis: You're my biggest fan?  
  
YC: No, you're still on fire. ::points to his arm::  
  
Zelgadis: Thank you. ::falls to the ground and starts rolling around::  
  
QT: He's kind of weird.  
  
Lina: Tell me about it.  
  
Zelgadis: ::gets back up and smiles::  
  
YC: Hey, want to travel with us?  
  
Zelgadis: Where are you going?  
  
Kakashi: The... city of... druggies, I think.  
  
QT: Jaded City.  
  
Kakashi: That's it!  
  
Lina: ::smacks Kakashi upside the head::  
  
Zelgadis: Why the hell not? I can ask the Wizard for my cure.  
  
YC: Yay! ::does her happy squirrel dance*:: We have another person that wants to travel with us!  
  
Kakashi: (to Zelgadis) You want a cure? I want a brain!  
  
Zelgadis: I can see why.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*My happy squirrel dance- think a drunk Michael Flatley. This is generally one I save for while I'm in public with my family. That way, they pretend they don't know me and I get to spend all the time away from them.  
  



	7. A Deluded Princess and An Armed Mazoku

  
YC: Y'know, we've been walking a while.  
  
Lina: Yeah, and we're heading deeper into the forest.  
  
QT: Let me guess. That's a bad thing?  
  
Zel: Very much so.  
  
Kakashi: Why?  
  
Zel: Because there's Dubbers and Fangirls and Bishonen.  
  
QT: Dubbers and Fangirls and-  
  
YC: You do it and I kill you right here and now.  
  
QT: Yes, ma'am.  
  
YC: Besides, what's wrong with fangirls?  
  
Zel: You think my hair's normally this length?  
  
YC: Point taken.  
  
Voice From Somewhere Nearby: Scary!  
  
Kakashi: What was that?  
  
Zelgadis and Lina: Oh shit. It can't be-  
  
YC: Yup, it is.  
  
::Amelia bursts onto the road, followed by Xellos. He's throwing Amelia-bashers at her::  
  
Amelia: Oh! Lina-san! Help me!  
  
YC: Xellos? What the hell are you doing chasing Amelia around?  
  
Xellos: What? It's fun.  
  
YC: So that's why you didn't make the party.  
  
Everyone: Huh?   
  
Xellos: I would've gone, but Zelas gave me this assignment.  
  
QT: I'm confused.  
  
YC: Oh yeah. Guys, this is my cousin, Q-chan. He's new to anime.  
  
Lina & Zelgadis: So THAT's his name.  
  
QT: ::sweatdrop::  
  
Xellos: I must say that you've caught on to the art of sweatdropping quite well.  
  
QT: Thank you.  
  
Amelia: Hey, where are you guys going in a big group without me? ::gets puppy-dog eyes::  
  
Lina: We're going to Jaded City to see the Wizard.  
  
Amelia: Can I go?  
  
Zel: What do you want?  
  
Amelia: Heero Yui.  
  
Everyone: WHAT??!!  
  
Amelia: A girl can dream.  
  
YC: Not THAT much.  
  
Xellos: Can I go too?  
  
QT: What do you want?  
  
Xellos: Nothing, I just heard that Jaded City was interesting.  
  
YC: I don't know if I want you getting all the way to Jaded City with this group.  
  
Lina: Wha- oh yeah! If we get to Jaded City... ::schemes:: Sure Xellos!  
  
Xellos: ::gives that cute little smile::  
  
YC: This won't end well.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Alright, technically it has a plot! You can't bash me for plotlessness! Review!  



	8. Flying Chibi Sylphiels!? What the Hell?...

  
YC: Alright, so we've met the whole gang that we're supposed to. We're headed through the forest. Now what am I forgetting?  
  
::We hear a squeal in the background::  
  
YC: Oh yeah. The flying monkeys. I can only wonder what my freakish mind has turned them into.  
  
::Suddenly a bunch of the little flying buggers swoop in front of the group::  
  
QT: What the hell?  
  
Zel & Lina: No, no it's not! AAAHH!!!!  
  
YC: Flying Chibi Sylphiels!!!  
  
Everyone: NOOOOO!!!!  
  
::They land next to the group::  
  
First Chibi Sylph: The leader's in a bunny suit!? Hahahaha!  
  
::The bunch of Chibis start laughing::  
  
YC: Hahaha. Yeah. Everyone have a goood laugh at my expense.  
  
Chibis: Okay. Hahahaha!  
  
::The group walks off::  
  
YC: I hate my life.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sorry that was so short! More coming! 


	9. A Little Nookie For Xellos. A Little, M...

  
Xellos: So, Yami-chan dear, why exactly ARE you wearing that bunny suit?  
  
YC: I'm being forced to. It's magical.  
  
Xellos: Well, that's fine. I think you look cute in it.  
  
YC: Really? ::blushes::  
  
Xellos: Yes, really.  
  
QT: Hey, lovebirds, it's getting dark.  
  
Kakashi: It's getting dark?  
  
QT: Yeah. This didn't happen in the movie.  
  
YC: Yeah, and exactly WHY am I still asleep?  
  
Lina: That's a good question. How long do you sleep?  
  
YC: Oh shit! I forgot! I've got a cold!  
  
Zel: Then that means....  
  
Everyone: She's going to be asleep for 24 hours!!!  
  
YC: Noooo!!!  
  
Kakashi: Maybe we should make a camp.  
  
Zel: That's actually a good idea.  
  
Lina: Alright, there's a clearing up ahead next to the road. I'll make the fire, Zel, you and Amelia and Q-chan get wood, Yami and Xellos get food.  
  
YC: I have food. After all, I'm the one dreaming this and I can pop anything in.  
  
Amelia: Then why do we have to get wood?  
  
YC: Because I'm lazy, awake or asleep.  
  
QT: Whatever. Hey, we're here.  
  
::The group splits up and Yami-chan and Xellos get comfortable next to a tree::  
  
Xellos: So, why do you want to get out of this place so bad?  
  
YC: I don't know. I guess because it's weird.  
  
Xellos: It's not THAT bad.  
  
YC: There are chibis everywhere. Yes it is.  
  
Xellos: Come on. Chibis aren't that bad.  
  
YC: Chibi Sylphiels?  
  
Xellos: Okay. Point taken.  
  
YC: Why do you want to go to the Jaded City?  
  
Xellos: Because I've read Jaded.  
  
YC: What-  
  
Xellos: ::Kisses Yami::   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Meanwhile...  
  
QT: Hey, I think we've got enough.  
  
Amelia: Yeah, it looks that way.  
  
Zel: Let's go back then. L-sama only knows what's going on back at camp.  
  
::They head back to camp only to find Lina already asleep::  
  
Zel: (to author) That's unlikely.  
  
BWH: Hey! I had to make this work! I want a nookie scene with Yami and Xellos!  
  
Amelia: What does that me-  
  
::They look over to see Xellos and Yami making out::  
  
QT: That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.  
  
::All three turn around and barf::  
  
YC: Hey!   
  
Xellos: The mood's gone. Sorry. ::gets off her and goes to fall asleep::  
  
YC: ::throws slipper at Xellos:: Damn you!  
  
Filia: ::pops up:: He's a namagomi, I tell you.  
  
YC: I see your point.  
  
::Filia and Yami-chan go off to talk about Xellos::  
  
Zel: I'm starting to wonder why Gourry hasn't shown up yet.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hahaha! I had to make a scene for me and Xellos. I'm THAT obsessed! 


	10. Just Plain Old Bitching

  
The next morning....  
  
Lina: C'mon. Let's get going. We're almost there.  
  
YC: ::grumbles::  
  
Xellos: What was that?  
  
Filia and YC: Nothing!  
  
Zel: This is getting creepy.  
  
QT: Yes, yes it is.  
  
YC: Well, we're almost to the city, so let's just get this over with. Besides, I want to get back to my frickin' Jackie Chan dreams.  
  
Lina: No Xellos dreams?  
  
YC: No problem there.  
  
Xellos: ::looks a little hurt::  
  
YC: You can just bite me, fruitcake.  
  
Xellos: Gladly!  
  
Filia and YC: Ack!  
  
Xellos: What are YOU doing here, Filia?  
  
Filia: (going into poses) Wherever there is someone being annoyed by a mazoku fruitcake ::pose:: Wherever there is a girl spurned because the guy she likes is a jerk ::pose:: Wherever there is a namagomi just begging for a mace in the kisser ::pose:: I will be there!  
  
Amelia: Yay Filia-san!  
  
Filia: Thank you, Amelia.  
  
Lina: Why me?  
  
YC: Actually, it's more like why ME?!  
  
QT: Oh, so now you're claiming to be the star again?  
  
YC: Shut up.   
  
QT: You look really pissed.   
  
YC: I wonder why. This dream sucks! I should be kicking ass with Jackie right now, and instead I'm on some quest to Jaded City in a fucking bunny costume! And why? Just to talk to some retarded wizard who's probably just a fraud!  
  
QT: Riiiiight. ::backs away from her slowly::  
  
Lina: Can we just go now?  
  
YC: Yes, let's go.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'Kay, there should only be a few more chapters, but that's all I'm writing for tonight, cause I'm dead beat and I've been working at this for over four hours! 


	11. A Short Intermission From The Real World

  
YC: What the- ::looks around. She's back in her bedroom in front of the computer:: I'm awake! Yes! I'm awake!  
  
::She goes into her little happy squirrel dance::  
  
Yami's Mom: ::comes in:: Sweetie, it's almost ten o'clock. Why don't you get some sleep?  
  
YC: Mom, I just woke up.  
  
YM: Well, what about your cold?  
  
YC: I feel great! I must've slept off the virus!  
  
YM: Do you want some orange juice before I tuck you in?  
  
YC: No! I don't want to go to sleep! Not ever again!  
  
YM: Sweetie, are you sure you're feeling okay?  
  
YC: Yes! I'm completely fine!   
  
YM: Oh, did I tell you that you had some visitors?  
  
YC: I do? What, is Jessie here?  
  
YM: No, but your cousin's here. He has some of his friends with him, too. Kind of odd looking.  
  
YC: Q-chan? I thought he was in New York.  
  
YM: No, apparently he's visiting.  
  
YC: That's kind of odd. Where is he?  
  
YM: Out on the sidewalk. He said he needed some fresh air.  
  
YC: In London? Fat chance of that happening.  
  
YM: Why don't you go out and see him. He's been waiting an hour.  
  
YC: Then why didn't you wake me up?  
  
YM: You looked so peaceful. Plus I couldn't.  
  
YC: Oh. ::gets up and walks outside::  
  
QT: Hey Yami-san!  
  
YC: Hey Q-chan. Where are the friends mom told me about?  
  
::QT's friends come out from the alley::  
  
YC: Noooooo!!!!!  
  
Zel: Hey Yami.  
  
Lina: What's the idea with waking up?  
  
YC: I feel sick. ::passes out::  
  
Wayne and Garth: ::walk up:: Doodily-doo! Doodily-doo!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I've gotten three reviews so far! Come on! Three?! That's pathetic! 


	12. Back In The Dream World and A Narrator N...

  
YC: ::getting up and rubbing head:: Aw shit. I'm back in AnimeLand.  
  
QT: Oh, hey! She's back. Let's get going.  
  
YC: Have you just been waiting here for me for the maybe five minutes I was awake?  
  
Amelia: Pretty much, Yami-san.  
  
Zel: I just want to get to Jaded City to get my cure.  
  
YC: Why me?  
  
QT: Hey, you know what?  
  
Xellos: What?  
  
QT: I haven't seen Kakashi or Gobu in a while.  
  
YC: Hey, you're right. Where the heck are they?  
  
Lina: It doesn't matter. We'll probably just find them wandering around somewhere.  
  
YC: No, not Gobu. He's not stupid, just disturbed.  
  
Amelia: Lina-san, shouldn't we go find them?  
  
Lina: Let's just go to Jaded City so we can get out of this crappy dream.  
  
YC: That sounds good to me.   
  
Narrator: And so they headed off to find their destinies. Who knows what may become of these travellers? It is-  
  
YC: Shut up! This isn't one of those stupid stories that's narrated!  
  
Narrator: But, I was hired for this gig!  
  
QT: By who?  
  
Narrator: Some guy named the Wizard.  
  
Zel: The Wizard hired you to narrate our journey to Jaded City?  
  
Narrator: Yup.  
  
Lina: Well, you can travel with us, but no narrating.  
  
Narrator: Then what am I supposed to do? ::pops up in scene::  
  
Xellos: You can just travel with us. By the way, have you seen a shark named Gobu or a dip named Kakashi?  
  
Narrator: Nope.  
  
YC: What's your name?  
  
Narrator: Parn.  
  
YC: Why does that name ring a bell?  
  
Parn: ::looks around nervously:: I don't know.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Alright, so I lost the point a bit. But aren't you curious to know what happened to Gobu and Kakashi? Then stay tuned! 


	13. Where the Hell Are Kakashi and Gobu?!

  
Kakashi: Hey Gobu, where are we?  
  
Gobu: I'd assume it's Jaded City.  
  
Kakashi: How do you know that?  
  
Gobu: Look around.  
  
::they look. We see that everyone in this town is giggling hysterically and licking a bunch of toads::  
  
Kakashi: So what do we do?  
  
Gobu: My advice is to wait for the rest of the group.  
  
Kakashi: How did we get here?  
  
Gobu: We- Hey, how DID we get here?  
  
::they look around for an answer. finding none, they go up to the closest person::  
  
Gobu: Do you know where the Wizard is?  
  
Crocodile Hunter: No man. He's like, somewhere, though.  
  
Gobu: Good assessment of the situation.  
  
CH: Yeah man. Thanks. ::grins and continues licking toad::  
  
Gobu: Your sister created this?  
  
Kakashi: Yep.  
  
Gobu: What is she on?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Everyone wanted to know where they were. So here you go. 


	14. A Meadow Too Horrible To Mention

  
YC: Okay, I know what's coming next. That stupid field with all the flowers that make you fall asleep. So where is it?  
  
Xellos: Are you talking to yourself again, dear?  
  
YC: No!  
  
Filia: And don't call people dear!  
  
Xellos: I have the right. ::pouts::  
  
Filia: No you don't, namagomi.  
  
YC: She's right, you know.  
  
Lina: Would you shut up!  
  
QT: Yeah! You're annoying as all hell!  
  
YC: You know, Q-chan, you have quite a temper.  
  
Filia: Would you like some tea? That helps calm people down.  
  
QT: (sarcastic) No, I would not like tea.   
  
Zel: I wonder how long until we get to the city.  
  
Amelia: Yeah, we should've been there a while ago.  
  
Lina: Relax, you guys. It can't be too far.  
  
Zel: Wanna bet?  
  
Xel: I would!  
  
Filia & YC: Shut up Xellos!  
  
Xel: Geez.  
  
QT: Yami-chan, why ARE you so pissy lately?  
  
YC: Because I just remembered that- hey! I don't have to tell you!  
  
Lina: What was that? You just remembered what?  
  
Amelia: Tell us, Yami-san!  
  
YC: First of all, it's Yami-CHAN, and no.  
  
Zel: Please?  
  
Xellos: Please?  
  
YC: No! No no no no no!  
  
Filia: You can tell me!  
  
YC: Alright. ::whispers something into her ear::  
  
Filia: Ooh. That's bad.  
  
YC: Yeah, I know.  
  
QT: Come on Yami! Please? ::makes disgustingly cute puppy eyes::  
  
YC: No. And I thought I told you to call me Yami-senpei.  
  
QT: No you didn't.  
  
YC: Oh. Well you should! I'm older than you and I got you into writing!  
  
QT: Okay. Yami-senpei, will you please tell me?  
  
YC: No.   
  
Everyone but Filia and Yami: Pleeeeeeeeease????  
  
YC: No! Let's just go- hey! There's the bloody field!  
  
::They all look and scream::  
  
Parn: It's.... a field of teddy bears.  
  
Lina: The snuggle bears!  
  
Everyone: AAAAAAAHH!!!!  
  
Amelia: Well, look at it this way, the sooner we begin, the sooner we get through it.  
  
Xel: That's probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  
  
Lina: Screw this. I'm levitating over. ::she does::  
  
Zel: Hey that's right. ::Ray Wings over the field::  
  
Amelia: Good point. ::goes with them::  
  
Filia: Sorry. ::follows them::  
  
YC: What about you, Xellos?  
  
Xellos: I'm not leaving you. Imagine all the hatred I'll get out of you at the snuggly-ness.  
  
YC: I. Hate. You. So. Much.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Don't worry. The plot'll be back. After I beat the living shite out of it. ::grins:: 


	15. The Teddy Bear Massacre

  
YC: I ::kicks teddy bear:: hate ::punts teddy bear:: this ::steps on teddy bear:: dream ::stomps teddy bear::.  
  
QT: I know how you feel.  
  
YC: I can't help but notice you're doing much less damage to these freakish things than I am.  
  
QT: No, I am. I've got mace spray.  
  
YC: Good thinking. How are you doing, Xellos?  
  
Xellos: AAAAAAH!!!  
  
YC: He's fine.  
  
QT: Well, at least he's getting a good meal from us.  
  
YC: You're learning this quite well, Q-chan.  
  
QT: Thanks. So, how come Xellos doesn't fly over if he's being attacked by all the teddy bears?  
  
YC: I don't know. We're almost out, though.  
  
Xellos: I HATE TEDDY BEARS!!!!!! ::spears teddy bear through head with staff::  
  
YC: ::walks out of the field:: I feel happy.  
  
QT: Oh! Thank the gods! Fresh, hateful air!  
  
YC: How's Xellos doing?  
  
QT: I think... yep, he just blew up the whole field of teddy bears. ::grins::   
  
::Huge explosion::  
  
Xellos: ::walking up with a huge smile:: Well, shall we go find the others?  
  
YC: ::sweatdrop:: Yeah, let's go.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Meanwhile...  
  
Lina: Hey, did the whole field just blow up?  
  
Filia: That's about the jist of it.  
  
Amelia: But who would do such a thing, Lina-san?  
  
Lina: I can only guess.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Alrighty, back to the plot! I know, this sucks, but it was funny, right? Right? Please give me feedback!  



	16. What Is Taking So Fucking Long?!

  
Gobu: What the hell's taking them so long?  
  
Kakashi: I have no... um... thought-like thingy.  
  
Gobu: Idea?  
  
Kakashi: Yeah! That's it!  
  
Gobu: Why am I not surprised?  
  
Kakashi: I-  
  
Gobu: That was a rhetorical question!  
  
Kakashi: Ree-torr-ikal?  
  
Gobu: Never mind. It means that I didn't want you to answer it.  
  
Kakashi: Then why did you ask?  
  
Gobu: I don't know.  
  
Kakashi: Hey! That's what I was thinking!  
  
Gobu: Why, again, am I not surprised?  
  
Kakashi: Becau-  
  
Gobu: Rhetorical! That was another rhetorical question!  
  
Crocodile Hunter: ::walks up with a toad:: Want a lick?  
  
Gobu: No.  
  
Kakashi: What does he want us to lick?  
  
Gobu: ::sweatdrops:: On second thought...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Just had to check up on the two of them, you never know what will happen when someone is forced to deal with Kaki-senpai! 


	17. You're Real? This Won't End Well

  
YC: Hey, there they are! ::points to group::  
  
QT: Hey! You guys! Wait up! ::runs to catch up to the group::  
  
Xel: They wouldn't seriously leave us behind.  
  
Lina: (mumbling) Wanna bet?  
  
YC: ::pops up:: So, what did you guys do while you were waiting for us?  
  
Amelia: Oh, not much Yami-san. We had tea and lunch.  
  
QT: ::walks up out of breath:: When ::pant:: am I ::gasp:: gonna learn ::wheeze:: that pop up ::gasp:: thing again?  
  
YC: Not long, Q-chan. You're doing so well, though.  
  
Xellos: ::pops up covered in teddy bear gore:: Well, that's the last of them.  
  
Zelgadis: I wonder what Kakashi and Gobu are doing.  
  
YC: Oh, right! Come on, Jaded City's right up ahead!  
  
::They walk, without further incidents, to Jaded City::  
  
YC: I can't believe we're finally here. Now I can get to the Wizard and get back to my Jackie Chan dreams.  
  
Everybody: ::stares at her odd::  
  
QT: Okay, let's just get on with it. I'm nervous enough as it is.  
  
YC: Why are you nervous? This is my dream, and you're just a figment of my imagination.  
  
QT: Are you a complete idiot? Why do you think I'm so realistic? I'm the real QT, I'm just stuck in your head.  
  
YC: ::points to Lina:: What about you?  
  
Lina: Nope. Not the original, but still a version of Lina. There are about a million versions of me, just look at the web. I'm your personal version, and yes, I am stuck in your head. Just like Zelgadis, Amelia, and Kakashi.  
  
YC: Then what's gonna happen when I wake up?  
  
Xellos: We don't know.  
  
YC: Oh, this isn't what I need!  
  
QT: Shall we just go?  
  
YC: A-alright. Great, now I'm nervous! ::thwaps QT with a fan::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sorry I made you wait so long for more! Come on, review! 


	18. So... Angry... Right... Now

  
YC: ::walks up to huge green door and knocks:: Hello?  
  
Little Person: Hello?  
  
YC: You're not... a chibi, are you?  
  
LP: No, just a midget. Why?  
  
YC: Just wondering.  
  
LP: What do you want?  
  
YC: I want to see the Wizard. Hey, why aren't you jaded?  
  
LP: I'm on duty. That would be very unprofessional.  
  
YC: Oh.   
  
LP: So, you want to see the Wizard, eh?  
  
YC: That's what I said.  
  
LP: And, pray tell, why are you wearing a bunny suit?  
  
YC: It's the magical bunny suit that Saban's brother wore.  
  
LP: Saban's brother never wore a bunny suit.  
  
YC: He-  
  
LP: No, he wore this magic cape. ::holds up cape:: I was supposed to give it to this chic named Yami-chan.  
  
YC: That's me.  
  
LP: Oh, here you go. By the way, that shade of pink is a real good color on you.  
  
YC: Lina, please come here for a moment.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Comedy's back, even if the plot's not! 


	19. Finally In The City of Druggies

  
YC: ::gets out of the bunny suit and puts on the pretty black cape:: Lina, why?  
  
Lina: ::struggles to hold in laughter:: It was worth a shot, right?  
  
YC: ::explodes:: NOITWASNOTWORTHASHOT!!! DOYOUKNOWHOWHUMILIATINGTHATWAS!!??  
  
QT: And record for longest sentence in one breath while yelling, Yami.  
  
Xellos: Come on, Yami-kun. It's alright now.  
  
YC: Don't touch me Xellos! Now is not the time to toy with my emotions! And where the hell's Filia!?  
  
Amelia: That's a good question, Yami-san. Last time I saw her, she was flying over the field.  
  
YC: ::cools down:: Alright, well, let's just find her, Kakashi and Gobu, and go talk to the frickin' wizard.  
  
QT: Are you okay?  
  
YC: Probably the best I can be considering how pissed I am.  
  
Zel: Come on, the gates are opening now.  
  
::Gate opens. They walk inside::  
  
Everyone: Holy shit.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
What did they see? What made them say the naughty s-word? Wait and watch! 


	20. A Horn-Dog Mazoku. Joy

  
Everybody: Holy shit.  
  
::They look around and see the entire place is sprawled over with laughing people making out::  
  
YC: Hoo, boy. Maybe I never should have written Jaded.  
  
Xellos: Yami-kun, you look so beautiful.  
  
YC: Aw, crap.   
  
Zel: ::actually smiles for a change:: You forgot about that, didn't you?  
  
YC: For your information, Stone boy, yes, I did.  
  
QT: Hey, look! There's Filia!  
  
YC: ::walks over to Filia, who is standing on a stool to avoid all the toads hopping about:: Filia, don't you have the ability to fly?  
  
Filia: Oh, hey, I do. ::flies next to Yami-chan::  
  
Xellos: ::pops up next to Yami:: Yami-kun, my sweet, let's just find somewhere nice and romantic.  
  
YC: ::sweatdrop:: This is getting kinda creepy.  
  
Filia: ::smacks Xellos with her mace:: Kinda?  
  
YC: Okay, you're right. Really creepy.  
  
Zelgadis: Shouldn't we go find Kakashi?  
  
Amelia: Yeah, Yami-san. He and Gobu are probably worried.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	21. Trouble A'Brewin With Kakashi and Gobu

Meanwhile....  
  
Gobu: Hahahaha! ::licks another toad::  
  
Kakashi: This is fun! ::licks another toad::  
  
Crocodile Hunter: I thought you'd like this.  
  
Gobu: Y'know, Steve-o, this is awesome.  
  
CH: Yeah, I know.  
  
Kakashi: ::collapses in laughter::  
  
CH: Hey, what do you think'll happen if we throw a match at him?  
  
Gobu: ::suddenly gets serious:: Whoa, man. I never thought about it.  
  
::They both look at Kakashi, who has passed out::  
  
Gobu: Should we?  
  
CH: Hey, man, the decision is all yours.  
  
Gobu: Cool.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Methinks Lina and the gang better find Kakashi and Gobu soon. 


	22. Another Interlude And A Sex-Driven Mazok...

  
YC: ::Looks around and finds herself in her bedroom again:: Yes! Back again! ::gets up and starts doing her happy squirrel dance:: No more Xellos hitting on me, no more Lina playing mean tricks, no more Q-chan calling me names-  
  
Xellos: Yami-kun, why don't you join me?  
  
YC: ::looks around to see Xellos laying on her bed, which is covered in rose petals:: Why me?  
  
Xellos: Why, Yami-kun, whatever do you mean?  
  
YC: I mean, why are you here? I'm AWAKE. That means you shouldn't be able to torment me.  
  
Xellos: It was already stated that we were all real. I'm just here because I think you're so cute in that cape.  
  
YC: Cape- ::looks in a mirror to see that she is, indeed, still wearing the cape::  
  
Xellos: Everything in your dream was just transported into reality.  
  
YC: Which means that you're still in 'Jaded mode'.   
  
Xellos: Yup. ::gets up and goes over to Yami, putting her in a bear-hug::  
  
YC: Can't... breathe!  
  
Xellos: I'm so sorry, sweetie. Let me kiss you and make it all better. ::kisses her forehead::  
  
YC: Eep.  
  
Xellos: What would make you happy?  
  
YC: Um, sweetie, ::gulp::, I need to do a little work on the computer, okay? Then we can snuggle.  
  
Xellos: (hideously energetic) Okay, snookums!  
  
YC: ::sits down and starts bashing her head on the keyboard:: Sleep! Sleep! Must get back to sleep!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	23. Back Again and A Burning Scarecrow

  
YC: Ah, asleep again. ::looks around at the people gathered near her::  
  
QT: Never thought I'd hear you say that.  
  
YC: Never thought I'd be able to say it, either, but then I got a glimpse of a horny mazoku in my room. I can only imagine what would have happened if my mum had walked in. ::looks around:: Hey, where's Xellos?  
  
Filia: He didn't come back, but it's too soon to rejoice.  
  
Lina: Are we going to go find the frickin' Wizard or not?  
  
YC: Yes, let's. This dream is getting on my nerves. I mean, I think I've been asleep for two days straight.   
  
Zelgadis: Is that long for you?  
  
YC: Hahaha. Very funny, Stone boy. Remind me to make you handicapped in my next fic.  
  
Zelgadis: Eep.  
  
Amelia: Yami-san, let's just go! In the name of Justice, we must find the Wizard.  
  
YC: Um, yeah, Amelia.   
  
QT: Alright, while you were awake, we looked around a little bit, and found-  
  
::A screaming figure on fire comes running through::  
  
QT: Was that who I think it was?  
  
YC: Yep. ::starts running:: Kaki-senpai!  
  
Everyone: ::running:: Wait up!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hey, where IS Xellos? 


	24. Mazoku In My Bedroom

  
Xellos: Yami-kun, my love, what's wrong?  
  
::He shakes her. She stays asleep::  
  
Xellos: Sweetie, please wake up!  
  
Voice From Outside The Door: Jenny, what's going on in there?  
  
Xellos: Who's Jenny?  
  
VFOTD: ::bursts in. It's Yami's mom::  
  
YM: Who are you?  
  
Xellos: I'm Yami-chan's fiance. Who are you?  
  
YM: I'm her mother.  
  
Xellos: Then her real name is- ::smiles to himself::  
  
YM: Fiance? Since when?  
  
Xellos: Since today. Why? Got something to say about it?  
  
YM: Yes, she's fifteen. It's illegal.  
  
Xellos: Really? She's that old already?  
  
YM: What do you mean that old already?  
  
Xellos: I mean I thought she was still fourteen.  
  
YM: ::looks at calendar:: Yeah, I know, but she told me to tell everyone she was fifteen cause it's only a month until she is.  
  
Xellos: Well, I'm sorry, but in my realm, when you're this age, you're supposed to be married.  
  
YM: Your realm? What does that mean?  
  
Xellos: The place I'm from. Duh.   
  
YM: Wait, I'm confused. Why don't we talk about this over some tea.  
  
Xellos: You remind me of a less violent version of a person I know.  
  
YM: Really?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Just thought I'd check in on Xel-kun 


	25. The Crocodile Hunter's Apartment

  
YC: There! There he is! ::runs up to Kakashi and dunks what's left of him in a horse trough nearby::  
  
Kakashi: Sis?  
  
YC: Yeah, it's me.  
  
Kakashi: I was having the best time with Gobu.  
  
YC: Where is Gobu?  
  
Kakashi: With the Crocodile Hunter.  
  
YC: Shite.  
  
QT: How do we find him?  
  
Lina: Look for a version of Yami's pad.  
  
QT: That should be easy.  
  
::They look and easily find it, then go in::  
  
QT: Holy cripes.  
  
YC: This place smells.  
  
Zelgadis: Aaack! Air! ::runs outside::  
  
Lina: You know, I just remembered that he has better senses than most of us.  
  
Everybody: ::sweatdrops::  
  
Amelia: Gobu-san? Steve-san?  
  
Gobu: ::comes out with several toads following him:: Yeah?  
  
YC: ::grabs him by a fin:: We have to be going now.  
  
Gobu: Oh, man...  
  
QT: Let's just get out of here. This is really creepy, even if it IS a version of my cousin's house.  
  
::They walk out to discover Zelgadis still barfing over the side of the steps::  
  
YC: Ewww.  
  
QT: Shall we find the Wizard?  
  
YC: After I put my brother back together. ::starts patiently working::  
  
Lina: This could take a while.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Alright, that's all for now! You can thank my little brother for that. If he had an email address, I'd ask you to send him flames. 


	26. Gloria!!??

  
YC: You guys got some more hay?  
  
QT: Yeah. ::hands her the hay::  
  
YC: Thanks. This is harder than I thought.  
  
Lina: I know.  
  
YC: That good, Kaki-senpai?  
  
Kakashi: Yeah.  
  
YC: Good, then let's go.  
  
Kakashi: Kay. ::stumbles around and looks really overstuffed::  
  
Lina: Are you okay, Kaki?  
  
Kakashi: Yeah, I'm fine. Good thing I don't have nerve endings.  
  
YC: Um... okay.  
  
Gloria: ::runs up::  
  
QT: (to author) Gloria?  
  
BWH: Um, I'll explain it later.  
  
YC: This should be interesting, considering I'll have to explain it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	27. An Apology From Yami-chan (Remember This...

  
::We enter a room and see that it is lit in the same fashion as the disclaimer, with the author, Yami-chan, sitting on a dark red couch and holding a wine glass filled with Kool-Aid::  
  
Yami-chan: Hello, loyal reader, and welcome to the standard issue apology and explanation as to what the hell I'm doing adding the character Gloria. ::gets up and moves to a mantel with a puny fire underneath::  
  
Yami-chan: These are pictures of the school production of the Wizard of Oz. ::points to several different pictures::  
  
Yami-chan: Nice, no?  
  
Pepper: ::enters room and turns on the lights:: What are you doing?  
  
Yami-chan: Making an apology and explanation.  
  
Pepper: Oh. Well, I need this room for the party I'm having.  
  
Yami-chan: What party? This is my laundry room.  
  
Pepper: Yes, well, I'm sorry. I invited some other muses over, and we're having a party.  
  
Yami-chan: Can you leave? Oh, and turn the light off, I'm trying to go for some bloomin' credibility here.  
  
Pepper: Fine. Just be out soon. I don't want you around when Stephen gets here.  
  
Yami-chan: Stephen? What's that, a boyfriend?  
  
Pepper: ::blushes:: No. ::slams the door on her way out::  
  
Yami-chan: ::turns the light off:: Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, our school's production of The Wizard of Oz. It was amazing, not based on the movie very much. Well, when I was working in it (for a small amount of time), I learned that there were three versions of the play. ::holds up three bible-sized scripts::  
  
Yami-chan: In any case, we were doing a version with Gloria, the mayor's daughter, in it. I haven't seen the Wizard of Oz, ever, but I've seen the play. I haven't read the book, but I've got my mom's remembering the movie and the play to base this on.  
  
::she pours more cherry Kool-Aid into the wine glass::  
  
Yami-chan: Anyway, I asked my mum if I had missed any part of the movie in my parody, and she informed me that I had. I missed them killing the blinkin' witch! So, I'm turning it almost completely over to play-verse. Thank you, and I hope you understand now why I-  
  
Pepper: ::barges in and turns on light:: I thought I told you to be out in ten minutes!  
  
Yami-chan: It's been ten minutes?  
  
Pepper: Yes! Stephen will be here any minute! Now go!   
  
Yami-chan: Alright, alright. Where am I going to go in this getup, though? ::gestures to her blue pajamas::  
  
Pepper: I don't care. Why don't you visit Eric?  
  
Yami-chan: ::blushes:: Not likely. I'll be in my room. ::walks out::  
  
Pepper: I wouldn't do tha-  
  
Yami-chan: Why is there a keg in my room?!  
  
Pepper: Oh well. ::blows out candles and turns out light::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	28. Gloria... Please Quiet Down

  
YC: Gloria, what is it girl? What? Is Timmy stuck in a well?  
  
Gloria: (a la Lassie) Ruff! Ruff-ruff!  
  
BWH: Um, we're back.  
  
QT: Shite. We are?  
  
BWH: Yeah. ::points to reader::   
  
Amelia: Mitte, mitte! Er, I mean- Look, look!  
  
QT: Uh oh. Yami- stop that!  
  
YC: Okay.   
  
Gloria: ::gets up:: Um, anyway ::looks nervously at BWH:: I'm the mayor's daughter, Gloria. I'd like to show you around the town. Would you come this way? ::walks off::  
  
Lina: Should we?  
  
Amelia: I don't know, Lina-san. It could be a trick.  
  
Zelgadis: Yes, what if it's Xellos in disguise?  
  
QT: Uh, Zel- I'm beginning to wonder what all that coffee is doing to you mentally.  
  
Zelgadis: Just. Shut. Up.  
  
YC: Um... guys, back to the question at hand-  
  
Amelia: Don't you make fun of Zelgadis-san like that, Q-san!  
  
Kakashi: ::walks after Gloria::  
  
QT: I wouldn't have to if your freakin' Zelgadis-san didn't ask stupid questions-  
  
Gobu: ::does that... swimming thingy after Gloria and Kakashi::  
  
Amelia: You're a dirty birdie, Q-san!  
  
(A/N: That last phrase was sparked by a conversation with my cousin, Q-chan himself)  
  
QT: What was that Annie? I hear the lawnmower calling your name-  
  
YC: You guys, we can't fall apart this far-  
  
Gloria: ::walks up:: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU IDIOTS!!!  
  
Amelia & QT: Yes, ma'am.  
  
Gloria: ::gets back to innocent little girl look:: Now, if you would follow me.  
  
Everybody: ::gulps:: Okay.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	29. NO!!!! DON'T MAKE ME GO IN THERE!!!!

  
Gloria: Now, this is the horse stall. The horses are all in there.  
  
Zel: ::smirks:: What colors are they?  
  
Gloria: Cream, brown, and black.  
  
Zel: ::loses smirk:: Oh.  
  
Amelia: What was that about, Zelgadis-san?  
  
Lina: Hey, where's Xellos? He should be here bothering us by now.  
  
Filia: Who knows. The longer that namagomi stays away, the better.  
  
YC: I know how you feel.  
  
Lina: Don't you think you're getting a little bent up about one little incident?  
  
Filia & YC: No!  
  
Gloria: And here we have your rooms for the night. You can speak to the Wizard in the morning.  
  
::They go in, to find huge, splendid rooms. There are several people ready to give them makeovers, like in the movie::  
  
YC: I'd rather sleep in the hall than get a makeover.  
  
Lina: Oh, no you don't! ::pushes her in the room:: ::proceeds to push everyone in their room::  
  
Filia: Lina-san- ::gets pushed in::  
  
QT: Don't touch me- ::gets pushed in::  
  
And so on, and so forth.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	30. She Has A Photo Album And She Knows How ...

  
Yami's Mom: So, you say that you and my Jenny are dating?  
  
Xellos: Yes, very much so. I love my snookums so much.  
  
YM: Is she still asleep?  
  
Xellos: I'll go check. ::goes into Yami's room and checks on her:: Still asleep.  
  
YM: I wonder what could have tired her so.  
  
Xel: Yes. I wonder. ::grins::  
  
YM: Is there something you're not telling me?  
  
Xel: Sore wa himitsu desu. ^_^  
  
YM: What are you hiding?  
  
Xel: Sore wa-  
  
YM: Don't you dare say that. I know what it means, you know.  
  
Xel: ::eyes open:: Really?  
  
YM: Oh yeah. I have a daughter that's studying two languages.  
  
Xel: Oh. I forgot about that.  
  
YM: Yeah, as if she even told you that.  
  
Xel: Actually, she didn't. ::sips tea:: What else is there about her I don't know?  
  
YM: Well, if you really want to know... ::pulls out photo album:: Here's her when she was a baby. She was born in Germany, you know...  
  
Xel: Oh my. This could take a while.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yes, I hate to divulge all this stuff about myself, but the people have the right to know, and besides, it's not that much. So review, for the love of L-sama! 


	31. Fashion Emergency And Flying Slippers

The Next Morning...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
YC: ::sneezes::   
  
QT: You okay?  
  
YC: Yeah, probably just allergies.  
  
QT: Okay. Hey, what are you wearing?  
  
YC: ::blushes:: The makeover people said it looked okay.  
  
QT: It's.... interesting.  
  
YC: Thanks. ::blushes some more:: ::walks out to dining room where everyone is eating breakfast::  
  
Everyone In Dining Room: Hahahahahaha!   
  
Lina: What the hell are you wearing?  
  
YC: I didn't pick it out.  
  
Amelia: Yami-san, don't you think that's a little... revealing?  
  
YC: Fine. I'll take it off. ::blushes and walks back to her room in the Britney Spears outfit::  
  
QT: Why don't you just put on a nice dress?  
  
YC: Shut. Up.  
  
QT: ::walks out to dining room:: What is it with her and getting duped into stupid clothes? ::gets hit in the head with a slipper:: 


	32. The Triumphant Return Of Parn

  
YC: Let's just go.  
  
QT: Okay, I'm done with breakfast anyway.  
  
Amelia: Yami-san, are you sure you don't want anything to eat?  
  
YC: Yeah.  
  
Lina: Are you okay?  
  
YC: Yes, I'm fine. Where's Gloria?  
  
Gloria: ::runs up out of breath:: Right ::gasp:: here!  
  
QT: You should really learn the popping up thing.  
  
YC: ::smacks Q-chan upside the head::  
  
QT: I'll accept that.  
  
Lina: Hey, where's Gobu and Kakashi?  
  
Zelgadis: Aw, shit! Not this again!  
  
Amelia: Zelgadis-kun, er, san, don't use that language!  
  
Zelgadis: ::sweatdrops::  
  
YC: Back to the problem at hand, where the hell are they?  
  
::We hear screaming in the background::  
  
QT: You want to see, or should I spare you the heart attack?  
  
YC: Please do so, Q-chan.  
  
Amelia: You know, Parn's been gone awhile, too.  
  
Filia: I forgot about him.  
  
Parn: I'm not gone!  
  
YC: Where are you?  
  
Parn: I... don't... know.  
  
QT: Then why can we hear you?  
  
Parn: I... don't... know.  
  
YC: Thank you, Professor.  
  
Parn: Hey!  
  
Gloria: Parn-san, turn to your left and push the little blue button.  
  
Parn: Alrigh- ::falls out of a ceiling vent::  
  
Amelia: How did-  
  
Gloria: Trust me, that happens a lot around here.  
  
Everybody: Oh.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	33. We Finally Meet The Wizard And... A Brai...

  
Gloria: Alright, here he is, the Wizard.  
  
YC: Finally! After 32 chapters, we've found the Wizard!  
  
Everybody: ::stares at her awkwardly::  
  
YC: Why does everyone find it so funny to stare at me.  
  
::Collective shrug::  
  
YC: Let's go in. ::pushes open door::  
  
::Big head pops up::  
  
Big Head: What do you wish of the Wizard of AnimeLand?  
  
YC: Wow. It's been awhile since I used that word.  
  
BH: What is your business?  
  
YC: I want to return to my normal dreams!  
  
QT: And I want my reality back!  
  
Zelgadis: I want a cure.  
  
Kakashi: ::walks in:: Hey guys, I heard that we were shooting meeting the Wiz- ::looks at reader:: Oh, um, I want a thinking... thingy!  
  
Gobu: ::swimmy-thingies in:: A brain?  
  
Kakashi: Yeah!  
  
Gobu: And I want... wait, I never had a request! What a rip.  
  
Amelia: I want Heero Yui.  
  
::Collective sweatdrop::  
  
Lina: I want to find Gourry and just get out of here. By the way, why do you sound familiar?  
  
BH: No reason.  
  
Filia: I want a new mace!  
  
Parn: I want Record of Lodoss War to be more popular!  
  
::Another collective sweatdrop::  
  
BH: You puny fools! You dare to waste my time!  
  
YC: What do you do here without people like us? It can't be that entertaining.  
  
BH: Well, actu- Hey! That's not the point!  
  
QT: No, she's right. If we're so puny, who do you hang out with?  
  
BH: Shut up! Foolish mortal!  
  
Kakashi: Hey, is that just an adapted version of the Shakespeare line "What fools these mortals be?"  
  
Everybody: ::stares at Kakashi in shock::  
  
Lina: What... did you just say?  
  
Kakashi: Hey, what DID I just say?  
  
::collective facefault::  
  
YC: That was scary for a minute.  
  
QT: Yeah, my heart's just started beating again.  
  
BH: What's the big deal?  
  
Amelia: Wizard-san, if you knew Kakashi, you'd understand.  
  
BH: Okaaay.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	34. Please Exit The House, Xellos

  
Xellos: I wonder what's taking so long.  
  
YM: What was that?  
  
Xel: Oh, nothing. ::looks at timer:: It's almost done, ma'am.  
  
YM: Really? Well, time flies when you're baking with a friend, right?  
  
Xel: Yeah. Say, do I have to wear this?  
  
YM: You've worn worse.  
  
Xel: How do you know that?  
  
YM: Jenny has Slayers Next on tape, and I've seen the episode with the dolls. By the way, what did that kiss with-  
  
Xel: Um, okay, ma'am. ::beeper goes off:: Well, I'd better be going now! My mast- er, mother, is calling me home!  
  
YM: Zelas, right?  
  
Xel: Dammit. Sometimes it sucks royal ass to have your daily life on video.  
  
YM: I'll expect you back at eight for dinner, dear.  
  
Xel: Alright. Thank you, ma'am. Tell Yami I love her when she wakes up.  
  
YM: Can do!  
  
Xel: Bye! ::teleports::  
  
YM: Bye! ::waves:: That sure is a strange boy.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	35. Why Can't Anything Just Be Simple?

  
YC: Come on! What do we have to do to get our requests?!  
  
Wizard: Well, since you asked, I won't have to make it an order.  
  
Everybody: ::looks at each other nervously::  
  
Wizard: My job for the lot of you is to go kill Saban.  
  
::Collective aw, shit::  
  
YC: If we do that, will you give us what we want?  
  
Wizard: Most of you, yes.  
  
Zelgadis: What? Who wouldn't get what they wanted?  
  
Wizard: What, you think I can actually give you Heero Yui?  
  
Amelia: Could you give me a plushie of him, then?  
  
Wizard: That, I could handle.  
  
Lina: Kay, then I guess we have to go kill Saban. I kinda wish Xellos was here, tho-  
  
Filia: No, don't say that!  
  
::Xellos pops up::  
  
YC: You had to say that, didn't you?  
  
Xellos: Hello, my dear. You look lovely, as usual.  
  
YC: ::sweatdrop::  
  
QT: Let's just go.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kay, that's all for tonight, cause me little fingers are tiring with all the strain and I'm getting really un-coordinated and the shite. More later, but I'm retiring for the night, y'all. Oyasumi. 


	36. On The Road Again

  
YC: Y'know, when you think about it, this isn't really that bad.  
  
QT: How in the HELL do you figure that?!  
  
YC: Well, remember how, in the movie, they killed the witch with water?  
  
Zel: Really? It was that easy?  
  
YC: Well it took that bimbo Dorothy long enough to figure it out.  
  
Lina: You realize that YOU'RE representing Dorothy, right, Yami?  
  
YC: Oh yeah. I'm not that stupid, though.  
  
QT: I seem to remember a certain bunny suit, and then the Britney-  
  
YC: Okay, okay, I get the point.  
  
Amelia: Lina-san, how far away is Saban's castle?  
  
Lina: Um, it should only take a few days to get there.  
  
Parn: A FEW DAYS!!??  
  
YC: Yeah, I don't think I want to be asleep that long. Technically, I don't think I CAN be asleep that long. I have an interlude coming up, you know.  
  
QT: Really? Are you going to eat during that one?  
  
YC: Yeah.  
  
Kakashi: Can I come to dinner? I haven't seen mom in a while.  
  
YC: Yeah, sure.  
  
QT: How about me? I haven't seen aunt D in a while, either.  
  
YC: That's cool.  
  
Lina: And how-  
  
YC: You can all come to dinner.   
  
Xell: Even-  
  
YC: Forget it.  
  
Xellos: But I helped make dinner.  
  
YC: I don't think I'm hungry anymore.  
  
Xell: Oh, come on sweetie. ::puts his hand on her arm::  
  
YC: Please don't touch me.  
  
Filia: Yay, Yami-san!  
  
Xell: What is so wrong with me?  
  
YC: Do you really want me to answer that?  
  
Xell: On second thought, no.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  



	37. Welcome To My House, Gents

  
YC: ::yawns and looks around. She's back in her room with everybody:: Evening, minna.  
  
QT: Evening, Yami. You realize it's almost eight?  
  
YC: Oh man. ::looks at watch:: You're right.   
  
Lina: Shall we go?  
  
YC: Yeah, sure. ::gets up from computer desk. She has keyboard imprints on her face:: My bum's numb.  
  
Zel: I can only wonder why.  
  
YC: ::walks out:: Hey mum.  
  
YM: Jenny! How are you feeling? You know you've been asleep for three days straight! I was beginning to think I should take you into the hospital!  
  
YC: No, mum. I'm fine. I've been involved in a dream-quest, that's all.  
  
YM: Oh. Well, I should imagine you're hungry, dear.  
  
YC: ::rubs the back of her neck:: Um, yeah, about that-  
  
YM: Did you bring your friends?  
  
YC: ::goes wide-eyed:: How did you know?  
  
YM: I'm a mother, I'm psychic.  
  
YC: Yeah, but that's just creepy. I brought about, let's see- Filia, Lina, Zel, Q-chan, Kaki-senpai-  
  
YM: You brought your brother with you?  
  
YC: Yeah, mum.  
  
YM: Well, just bring your friends in here. They're all welcome, especially that nice Xellos who helped me with dinner.  
  
YC: ::sweatdrop:: Come on out, guys.  
  
QT: Hey, aunt D!  
  
YM: Hello-  
  
QT: No, don't give people my name!  
  
YM: Um, okay. Hello, Q-chan.  
  
Kakashi: Hey, mom.  
  
YM: Hello, um, Kakashi.  
  
Kakashi: Thanks.  
  
Lina: Hi Mrs. Yami's Mom.  
  
YM: It's Ms, thank you.   
  
Lina: I'm Lina, this is Zelgadis ::points to Zelgadis::, this is Amelia ::points to Ame-chan::, this is Filia ::you get the point::, Xellos, and Parn. Oh, and Gobu!  
  
YM: Unfortunately, I know who Gobu is.  
  
Xellos: Hello, ma'am.  
  
YM: Why hello, Xellos. I'm glad you could make it.  
  
Xell: Wouldn't miss it.  
  
YC: Mum, can we just eat?  
  
YM: Oh, yes. Supper's on the table.  
  
YC: Thanks, mum. ::attacks table::  
  
Everybody: ::attacks table::  
  
YM: ::sweatdrop::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
1 hour later...  
  
::We see that everyone is sitting on the couch in the den, Xellos uncomfortably close to Yami::  
  
QT: You know, I could fall asleep right here.  
  
YC: ::makes excuse to get up:: How about I put another DVD on?  
  
Xell: No, that's fine.  
  
YC: Really, my pleasure. I have the Vampire Hunter D DVD.  
  
Everybody: Cool!  
  
YC: Okay. ::puts DVD on, then sits on the floor::  
  
YM: You guys ate quite a bit, you're probably going to get a bit drows-  
  
Everybody: ::snoring::  
  
YM: -y. ::sighs and sweatdrops:: Chalk down another day for my daughter. ::goes to get blankets::  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I thought this would be a nice interlude. Sorry I forgot aboot the interlude until now! 


	38. My 'Lil Rant

::We see Yami-chan in the laundry room again, with the customary wine glass of Kool-Aid::  
  
Yami-chan: May I ask you a question?   
  
Audience: Uh oh.  
  
Yami-chan: ::gets up:: How many reviews do I have for this series? Four? Five? And how many chapters have I given you people? That's right, more than thirty.  
  
Pepper: ::barges in:: Yami-chan, three minutes until we shoot- ::looks at audience:: Oh. ::grins nervously:: Uh, never mind. ::goes out::  
  
Yami-chan: Please ignore the disturbance. Anyway, I would like to know just why I have gotten six reviews. In fact, I would like to know why I can count my reviews on one hand and one extra finger. ::smashes wine glass in her hand for dramatic effect::   
  
Yami-chan: ::looks at hand for a moment:: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! THAT HURT WAY MORE THAN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO!!!!!  
  
Pepper: ::comes in:: Yami? Oooh. Owchies. Gottago. ::exits quickly::  
  
Yami-chan: ::now running around screaming and thrashing hand:: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! OOUUUCCCHIIIESS!!!  
  
Amelia: Yami-san? ::comes in:: Oh my. ::comes over and does a minor healing spell on Yami's hand::  
  
Yami-chan: ::regains composure somewhat:: Thank you, Ame-chan.  
  
Amelia: Are we ready for filming now? Or have you finished the script?  
  
Yami-chan: ::cough:: Audience ::cough:: ::fidgets with head to where the reader is::  
  
Amelia: ::looks at reader:: Um, never mind. Are you okay?  
  
Yami-chan: Yes, thanks.  
  
Amelia: Okay, bye. ::goes out::  
  
Yami-chan: Back to the subject, why haven't I gotten that many reviews? This stuff is funny, right? Right? ::goes off into depressed author mode:: I mean, I poured my heart into this work, it was my baby. Why do you think I added so many chapters?  
  
QT: ::walks in:: Yami-chan? How's the rant going?  
  
Yami-chan: Does everybody have to walk in during my rant!!??  
  
QT: Sorry. ::goes out::  
  
Yami-chan: Now, if there are no more inter-  
  
Xellos: ::teleports in:: Hello!  
  
Yami-chan: Just, please, review.  
  
Xellos: Oh, come on hunny-bunny.  
  
Yami-chan: I'm very scared right now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Come on, why haven't you!? 


End file.
